Featured 18 Comments 

Download PDF

Your Beliefs about Yourself Are Controlling Your Destiny

Harrison Barnes
By Jan 03,2021
Follow Me on Twitter, LinkedIn

View Count: 4142

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
In this article Harrison explains how your beliefs are controlling what is happening to you. Due to our early life experiences, almost all of us develop beliefs about who we are and our relationship to the world. These beliefs end up controlling how we evaluate ourselves in relation to the world. Most of us are acting and going through life largely unconscious to what we believe about ourselves. People want their experience of the world to be consistent with what they believe. The drive for this is so strong that people will do almost everything to be right about their beliefs. The key to a successful career and life is to start choosing what to believe about the world and about yourself. You need to manage your mind and understand how your beliefs about yourself, the world and the people around you are controlling your destiny.

When you go down any street in virtually any major urban environment in the world,  you’ll see people living on the street. I’ve lived in Europe, Asia, and all over the United States. Wherever I’ve gone, I’ve seen people living on the street in various parts of these cities. The only place I can honestly say I haven’t seen this is in rural Ohio, where several members of my family live surrounded by miles of corn fields. Perhaps homeless people live in the corn fields there, I do not know.

Who are these millions of homeless people and why are they homeless? These people are literally everywhere. There are certainly many sociological explanations for their extreme poverty and other problems. We can blame the government, we can blame the economy, and we can blame others. Notwithstanding, there are tons of people out there who somehow manage to do exceptionally well in spite of everything. They don’t have an education but are the richest people in the world. One may have had his face burned off in a fire yet ended up marrying a model. Another may have a low IQ but has managed to do incredible things with her life.

For every story about someone who is poorly off, there is a story about someone who is doing well. You need to understand that there are vast differences about how people experience and react to the world. What makes this central idea so exciting is what happens to us is entirely within our control, but only if we are willing to “go deep” and understand what’s inside of us that controls how we experience the world. What I’m concerned about specifically is your beliefs. Your beliefs control how you experience and interact with the world. Due to early life experiences, nearly everyone develops beliefs about who they are and their relationship to the world.

The significance of these beliefs is that they end up creating your experience of life and the world around you. The experiences you have, the circumstances you find yourself in, and the results you achieve are all related to the beliefs you adopt about yourself. This occurs because everyone does what they need to in order to create consistency between your life and what happens to you and your beliefs. This is a profoundly important statement and something that if you really grasp it, can change your life, your career, and your destiny forever.

One of the most powerful needs people have is for their experience of the world to be consistent with what they believe. The drive for this is so strong that people will do almost everything to be right about their beliefs and will do this even when being right means they will suffer, be unhappy, or experience failure.

We all have beliefs and these beliefs are about a variety of different things. These beliefs could be things like:

  • Every time you apply yourself, you’re likely to fail.
  • Every time you get close to people, they will disappoint you.
  • You will only be loved when you need something or are sick.
  • Success is for other people and not for you.
  • You are not important.
  • You do not fit in.

There are a ton of potential beliefs out there that you may have about yourself based on your early experiences. In almost every case, you do not choose the beliefs you have about the world, but instead we have adopted these beliefs based upon your early life experiences and feedback from the world (especially with and from your parents). These beliefs end up controlling how you evaluate yourself in relation to the world.

One of the beliefs that I have had to work on is that I cannot trust people. One of the reasons I think I adopted this belief was from an early experience. I learned early on that I couldn’t trust my parents in certain circumstances. Both of my parents lied to me on several occasions when I was younger. While this wasn’t a horrible thing in and of itself, this engendered a tremendous amount of distrust in me at a later age. When I got into business situations as an adult, I started having my trust violated over and over again–by employees and by others. Invariably, someone I would allow myself to get close to would violate my trust. Until I was in my early 30s, virtually every woman I dated (or married in one case) violated the trust I had in her. If she didn’t violate my trust (or I didn’t think she would), I was messed up enough at the time that I would push her away and end the relationship. I was only attracted to “bad girls” due to my belief that no one could be trusted. I wanted to ensure that my beliefs about the way the world worked were confirmed by the women I chose to spend my time with. The same thing occurred with many friends and employees of mine. I chose to associate with people I knew deep down were not trustworthy because this supported my belief in the world that people were not trustworthy.

This is messed up, I know. However, we all have beliefs like this that act out in our lives. Our beliefs about ourselves and the world are one reason that many people attract like-minded people into their lives. I knew one women quite well who went to Harvard Law School and associated with the highest class people you can imagine. This women dated a succession of at least three or four men over the course of a few years who literally beat the shit out of her. She would show up in arguably the most prestigious law firm in Los Angeles with black eyes and bruises all over her body. This is someone who was incredibly intelligent. Why do you think she was choosing to date a succession of men like this? I haven’t even ever personally known a man who beats up women and wouldn’t even know how to go about finding one. Notwithstanding, this woman somehow was able to attract these sorts of men and vice versa. The men she dated were bankers, doctors, and other professionals who would fly off into rages and kick and punch her.

What is going on in a situation like this? When you get down to it, I don’t think this was a case of “bad luck.” The woman was consciously and subconsciously attracting people who confirmed a belief that she had about herself and the world that led her to being beat up. The more I think about this particular woman, the stranger the whole thing seems to me. The last I checked, several years ago, she was working in a battered women’s shelter. I am not saying that women who are battered deserve this sort of treatment. What I am saying, however, is that a lot of it comes about because of certain people’s beliefs about themselves and the world.

I entered into a marriage several years ago with someone I was 100% confident would cheat on me on a conscious and subconscious level. I absolutely knew it. It was the most messed up and crazy thing imaginable. I got divorced because of it. It all happened because of my beliefs about the world.

You have beliefs like this that control how you see the world as well.

The person living on the street who believes he is worthless and will always be poor has attracted this life as well. Whatever you believe will cause you to meet people and enter into situations that will make you right about your belief. This is just how it works.

People attract the sorts of situations and create the sorts of lives that make them right about their beliefs. You are doing the same thing right now with your life and your career.

What’s even more interesting is how we end up distorting reality to ensure that we make a belief seem true, even if it is not. Several years ago, when I was around 24, I was dating a woman whose dad was an incredible womanizer. It was really out of control and he was such a bad womanizer, and had been throughout his marriage, that his wife finally left him on a trial separation basis. He was 60 odd years old and had recently started dating a 24 year old girl. Since my girlfriend’s parents were not divorced yet and she really hoped they would reconcile, she was very angry about this. One evening we’re going out for the evening and she said to him, “She better not be here when I get back!!”

Her father smiled and didn’t say anything. We got back around 11:00p.m. and walked into the family room. To my astonishment her father’s girlfriend was not there and he had somehow brought home two other girls who couldn’t have been more than 30. He had his arms around them both with his feet up and was smoking a cigarette. He appeared to be having a great time.

“See she’s not here!” he said. “But now I’ve got two others!” He was laughing and flashed me a smile. It was too much and my girlfriend ran to her room crying.

“He’s such a womanizer!!” I remember her crying. “I can’t stand it.”

A couple of weeks later I was out at bar with my girlfriend and her brother. A girl I had known in elementary school came up and started speaking with me. I hadn’t seen her in at least 10 years and was very excited to catch up with her. We spent about 30 minutes talking and caught up. Then she gave me her number to call her so she could give me the contact information of a few other people from elementary school that I had lost contact with.

My girlfriend absolutely flew off the handle. She told me I was a womanizer. From that point on, everything I did was about womanizing. If I bought a new couch it was because I wanted to have women over when she wasn’t there. If I got a haircut, it was because I wanted to look good for other women. Her entire view of me was about how I was a huge womanizer–even though I never have been and was not. What she was doing was distorting reality so that it matched her belief of the world that men were all womanizers (like her father), even if this wasn’t the truth. Our relationship fell apart shortly thereafter, and I am confident she probably started dating a man who really was an womanizer. This was her view of reality and the world.

She put so much pressure on me that I was a womanizer that I almost felt like I should be. She was literally almost conditioning me and my view of the world so I saw myself as a womanizer even though I wasn’t. This was due primarily, I believe, due to her deep-seated desire to confirm her beliefs about people. It was almost as if she was acting in a certain way so that I complied with what she believed about men and the world and the way she was worried I would act. She believed all men were womanizers and this belief caused her to act in such a way that maybe I would have ended up one. This is no different than what we do to ourselves in other areas of our lives, however. For example:

  • We believe we’ll get fired from a certain job so we act in such a way that eventually we do get fired.
  • We believe that all men are womanizers so we act in such a way that the people we get close to become womanizers.
  • We believe we won’t succeed so we act in such a way that we don’t succeed.
  • We believe we are worthless so we become bums.

We actually make our worst fears come true by perceiving people and the world in such a way that these things do come true. The point is, we manipulate our surroundings and unconsciously shape the events around us so we get to be right about what we believe about the world. We want to create consistency between our beliefs about the world and our lives. Almost everyone out there wants nothing more than to be right and will do whatever is necessary to make sure their beliefs coordinate with what happens to them.

When you get into the family life of most bums and other people living on the street, you’ll often find some of the most depressing stories. You’ll see people who had parents who were incredibly cold and unloving. This has likely shaped the beliefs of the people living on the street that the world is a cold and unloving place and “poof” there the people are on the street. One of my favorite television shows used to be Intervention which I watched for a few years before it finally got too depressing to handle. What the show is about is a drug addict, alcoholic, bulimic, or other “addict” of some sort who gets completely out of control and needs an intervention. What always interested me most about this show were the most severe cases and seeing the family dynamic at work. What I’ve always looked for with a great deal of curiosity is the sort of family the people have whose lives get completely out of control. In almost all cases there is a stoic, unsympathetic mother or parent in the background. The person who is addicted and whose life is spinning out of control doesn’t feel any love in the world and has absorbed beliefs about how there is pain in the world and that his/her life can’t be fixed. The show usually goes into some early detail about the person’s life and provides a background of the person’s early beliefs about the world and how they acquired those beliefs. These beliefs usually something play themselves out in the people’s subsequent addiction.

Most of us act and go through life largely unconscious to what we believe about ourselves. Whether it is therapy, meditation, biofeedback, or something else, it’s incredibly important that we understand why we act the way we do and what makes us who we are. Our lives are incredibly affected by our beliefs about ourselves.

Most people in the world operate on auto pilot based on beliefs about themselves they don’t even know they have. Everyone has an internal map of reality and this map creates your life and experiences. These beliefs affect us on a daily basis whether we want them to or not. We all have internal maps of reality and these maps operate automatically and unconsciously. We hold many beliefs to be true that end up creating our experience of life. Something that can change your entire life and career is when you realize the following:

You are the creator of whatever happens to you. Whatever happens to you comes from inside of you. Everything that happens to you is generated inside of yourself–even if you can’t see it. The key to a successful career and life is to stop resisting what happens to you and choose what to believe about the world to create the life you want.

Once you understand this statement, your life as you know it and your ability to control what happens in your life will change. Understanding this statement and working with this statement is something the most successful people in the world do and the least successful people don’t. In effect, the most successful people in the world choose what to believe about themselves and the world. I would estimate that less than 1 in 1,000 people understand this. Even fewer people are able to make this work for their own benefit.

I was about 18 when I first realized I needed to choose my own beliefs about myself. This process was transformative on so many levels. I went from being a good student to being an extraordinary student. I got more popular. I earned more money. I became president of the organizations I joined. There were other incredible things that happened to me as well but it was all really based on the fact that I realized I had to choose what to believe. I was almost blackballed from a fraternity I joined (that I would later become president of) because I had conditioned my mind so strongly.

As part of joining most fraternities the group will do everything within its power through certain rituals to make you feel worthless. For example, they call you names and get you to say bad things about yourself. You’re threatened with violence and expulsion from your class. You’re told you are worthless in many, many ways. The point of all of these exercises is to make you break down and feel like worthless as an individual but valuable as a part of the group. Our fraternity was unusually severe in its approach to this and on at least one or two occasions I saw people have psychotic type breaks when they were undergoing this ritual hazing. Many organizations such as the Marines and others do this sort of hazing in one form or another and it is part of human nature. The idea is to shake your beliefs about yourself to the core so you rely on the group. This serves a useful purpose from the standpoint of determining the long term viability of groups. Many people undergoing this process would break down and cry and other stuff when confronted with the pressure of the hazing.

The problem I had when I was undergoing all this was that it didn’t work. I was stoic in many respects and didn’t act like I was supposed to. From the time I was around 18 until the present day, I’ve been someone who actively meditates and I try and do this at least once a day. The reason I do this is primarily to influence my subconscious mind and train myself to believe various things about myself, often regardless of whether or not they are true. When I was around 18, I became very interested in the mind and how it influences who we are. Specifically, what interested me most and what interests me to this day is how our beliefs about ourselves have such a serious impact on what ends up happening to us. I would meditate and do self hypnosis about topics like “self confidence,” for example.

In my days of being hazed as a “pledge” in my fraternity, being threatened with expulsion and told I was worthless and so forth I didn’t have the desired effect.

“What do you think about the fact that we all hate you and don’t think you have what it takes to be part of our group?” one of them shouted after dumping a giant five-gallon pail of ice water over me as I stood with my hands tied behind my back.

“Well, in all honesty I know I’m a valuable person. I have value for the world. I am a self-confident person…” I replied to the astonishment of my tormentors. This pissed them off and the abuse picked up but I was never thrown off course. I didn’t consciously resist any of this. I just couldn’t bring myself to honestly believe negative things about myself and be influenced by them.

These beliefs and statements came directly from various self-affirmation tapes I listened to. Different people reacted in different ways, but throughout my life as one person after another has tried to knock me down a post or two for whatever reason, the beliefs I conditioned myself to believe have kept me on course, happy, and doing well.

Several years ago, I was on an airplane traveling back from a business trip from our company’s office in India. There were a bunch of British magazines inside the cabin in which I was sitting. Since the batteries to my Nintendo Gameboy weren’t charged, I spent a lot of time reading these magazines. At some point I started reading an upper crust type magazine and there was a long article about a self-help program called the Hoffman Process. Apparently, in various high society circles of London a ton of people were going to this program and it was supposed to bring about some sort of profound transformation in people and how they viewed the world. What was even more encouraging to me was that all of these people from England were traveling to California to do the Hoffman Process. Since it wasn’t too far from me, I found it very interesting that a self-help program in California had gotten an apparent following among British aristocracy.

The program sounded terribly interesting because the testimonials people had from the program were in many cases quite profound. In fact, to this day many of the people I personally know who have gone to this program have reported incredible changes. One guy I knew lost 80 pounds. Another person quit a horrible addiction a week after going. Other people I know report being happier than they have ever been. There is a “cult” of sorts of people who have gone to this program and reported some of the most incredible changes they’ve ever had in their lives. For others, there’s been really no effect. The point is, there is something to what they do there which has a profound impact on many people.

I arrived at the Hoffman Process compound in White Sulfur Spring, California (in Napa Valley), around three years ago on a Friday afternoon. For eight days, I did various exercises with the participants and went deep into myself, discovering how much of my life had been dictated by beliefs about myself I picked up when I was younger from my environment. This information was extremely useful for me to know. During the week, I saw several people completely break down and have incredible experiences. I saw one person who realized at the age of 35 or so that she was actually gay. I can imagine the results this must have had on her and her family. I saw years come off of some people’s faces as they seemingly got rid of emotional baggage they had been holding for some time.

The program is not something that was founded by a psychologist. It is a program that was founded by a tailor in New York, Bob Hoffman, who used to run it out of the back of his tailoring shop. It involves stuff like shouting at yourself, beating pillows with bats, guided imaging, and other stuff that ends up having an effect on making you understand who you are and where you got many of your beliefs from. The foundations of the program are not based on an understanding of complex psychology; instead, they are based on the ability for people to understand how their need for their parent’s love and approval from an early age had a tremendous and profound impact on their lives and their beliefs about the world. I enjoyed the program. I sent my wife to attend the program and she enjoyed it as well. I also sent my father. I have also sent people who work for me. I have recommended the program to many people.

Essentially, the program enables people to understand a lot of their actions and emotions in the world occur due to beliefs and behaviors they adopted from their parents. Once you free yourself from reacting to things your parents did and said to you in the past, the more your own decisions are likely to be guided by what you choose to believe.

When I was younger, I used to stop and chat with the homeless people on the street at length. In many cases, they have severe substance abuse problems and in other cases they have severe psychological issues such as schizophrenia. Nevertheless, a good portion of these people have nothing wrong with them biochemically. Many also don’t have any serious substance abuse problems. Instead, their issue appears to be how they think about themselves. Their beliefs about themselves are controlling their destinies.

This has always been the issue with them. They feel worthless, they believe they are incapable of good, they believe they are incapable of being loved, or they have beliefs about money that disempower them. When you pass these unfortunate people standing on the side of the road, you know that most of the problems they have are caused by deeply held beliefs that they’ve used to consistently disempower themselves.

This is the same reason you don’t reach your full potential. Your beliefs about yourself control what happens to you.

Regardless of who you are, this problem affects all of us all in different degrees. On a personal level, I’ve spent that past 20+ years of my life uncovering and exploring my beliefs about myself and seeing if these beliefs empower me or hold me back. I would like to challenge you to do the same thing today. You need to manage your mind and understand how your beliefs about yourself, the world, and the people around you control your destiny.

Related Articles:

About Harrison Barnes

Harrison Barnes is the Founder of BCG Attorney Search and a successful legal recruiter himself. Harrison is extremely committed to and passionate about the profession of legal placement. His firm BCG Attorney Search has placed thousands of attorneys. BCG Attorney Search works with attorneys to dramatically improve their careers by leaving no stone unturned in a search and bringing out the very best in them. Harrison has placed the leaders of the nation’s top law firms, and countless associates who have gone on to lead the nation’s top law firms. There are very few firms Harrison has not made placements with. Harrison’s writings about attorney careers and placements attract millions of reads each year. He coaches and consults with law firms about how to dramatically improve their recruiting and retention efforts. His company LawCrossing has been ranked on the Inc. 500 twice. For more information, please visit Harrison Barnes’ bio.

About BCG Attorney Search

BCG Attorney Search matches attorneys and law firms with unparalleled expertise and drive that gets results. Known globally for its success in locating and placing attorneys in law firms of all sizes, BCG Attorney Search has placed thousands of attorneys in law firms in thousands of different law firms around the country. Unlike other legal placement firms, BCG Attorney Search brings massive resources of over 150 employees to its placement efforts locating positions and opportunities that its competitors simply cannot. Every legal recruiter at BCG Attorney Search is a former successful attorney who attended a top law school, worked in top law firms and brought massive drive and commitment to their work. BCG Attorney Search legal recruiters take your legal career seriously and understand attorneys. For more information, please visit www.BCGSearch.com.

Speak Your Mind

Tell us what you're thinking...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!


18 Responses to “ Your Beliefs about Yourself Are Controlling Your Destiny”
  1. Avatar anonymous says:

    Almost everyone out there wants nothing more than to be right and will do whatever is necessary to make sure their beliefs coordinate with what is happening to them.

    Love this line.

    Keep up the good work

  2. Avatar Hank Wasiak says:


    Enjoyed reading your blog and you have some excellent insights and advice about the importance of “seeing yourself” in the correct manner. Much of what you talk about mirrors Asset-Based Thinking….focusing on what’s working and possible versus what’s not working and problematic…deficit based thinking. Dr. Kathy Cramer and I have created some powerful books on the subject and I blogging about it regularly on our website http://assetbasedthinking.com/.

    Check it out if you have some time and welcome to the positive conspiracy. Keep the good advice coming.
    Hank Wasiak

  3. Avatar Russ says:

    I have gone through life trying to find someone who can think and express themselves like you, we are similar in our approach to the world.

    I love reading your articles.


  4. Avatar tony says:

    Much of what you talk about mirrors Asset-Based Thinking….focusing on what’s working and possible versus what’s not working and problematic…deficit based thinking.

  5. Harrison,

    That was a terrific post. Reminds me of one of my favorite quotes from David Hawkin’s book Power vs. Force:

    “Beliefs are the determinant of what one experiences. There are no external causes.”



  6. Avatar Md Asif Uddin says:

    I’ve just read this article. I’ve been looking for something like this. You put here very important information. I hope I’ll be able to use these tips in the future.

  7. Avatar shoumen says:

    A Harrison Barnes Employment Crossing believes that the best stories typically revolve around the employee being very motivated to do a good job and continually wanting to improve in his or her employment.

  8. Avatar kavya says:

    This article is very nice.Here the author says that we need to manage our mind and understand how our beliefs about ourselves, the world and the people around we are controlling our destiny.It is wonderful.

  9. Avatar Gaurav says:

    Through an elaborate narrative, the writer has made his point quite clearly. But let us not forget that no one is born with any beliefs about himself or the world around him. His beliefs are shaped up by the circumstances of his upbringing. However, the persons with exceptional capabilities can mold their beliefs in a way to control their destinies.

  10. Avatar shoumen says:

    A Harrison Barnes Employment Crossing believes that the best stories typically revolve around the employee being very motivated to do a good job and continually wanting to improve in his or her employment. Harrison Barnes did not gain this reputation overnight.

  11. Avatar ANDREA PIONTKOVSKI says:


  12. Avatar Adrienne Garland says:

    Beautiful piece – from your heart. Thank you for sharing it with everyone.

  13. Avatar Larry Rossi says:

    I agree that without positive reinforcement and circumstances that allow a person to experience who they are and at some level of personal awareness, our lives can be difficult and unrewarding.
    I personally am a born again Christian who relies on Faith in a savior Jesus Christ.
    My life is not all rosy but I am convinced because of my beliefs that I am a much better person and father, husband and son because of the bibles teachings.
    I to have hangups that were developed through the course of my life. Difficult as it is I work at resisting the negative impulses/ self control and enjoy the life affirming ones.
    I appreciate your life experience and advice.
    By the way I will be joining the Facilities Crossing real soon, looking for a Facilities Management job.

  14. Avatar Sefton Oxford says:

    You have a good cash flow machine here I just wish I had thought of it first. I am not convinced you can help

  15. Avatar Christel Frantz says:

    How do you define success? Is it purely monetary or can improving society through raising a decent, harworking family along with boing business in an ethical manner be considered sucessful? It may not make one rich. The woman who chose bad boyfriends may have been learning life lessons to spring board her to the point of being in a position to really understand and genuinely help other people with similar weaknesses as herself. perhaps this has been the very point of your own journey as well. From what I read from your article, I think that is the point of your own life. I think its a good thing as well. Good Luck and keep writing.

  16. Avatar saji says:

    sharing grief can reduce

  17. Avatar Greg says:


    I appreciate your efforts to help people, and I want to help you and others also. Therefore, I felt compelled to comment and to tell you that I think the church of Scientology has had more effect on your beliefs than you may think. Like many today, you have bought into a half-truth (which is essentially a lie). While it is true that our choices do affect our lives and that we do need to train our minds and discipline ourselves, it is absolutely false that “you are the creator of whatever happens to you”. There are many things in life that happen to us that we cannot control, and sometimes we cannot even control ourselves-just one individual. I am sure that, even though you have this knowledge about controlling your mind and your choices, your life is still not perfect or you still do not have perfect peace, do you? Nobody’s life is perfect because none of us is perfect nor are our minds. We do not have all knowledge, and we do not always make the right choice. We are not capable of doing so by ourselves. We need help from others and, most of all, from the One Who has all knowledge, Who created the entire Universe, and Who IS in control – from God. You are correct that we have choices. God has choices, and he chose to create us and to give us the power to choose. We are created in God’s image-which is why we have choices and are not God’s robots, but, if we want true success and true peace in life, the first choice that we must make is to choose to acknowledge that God is ultimately in control and that we are not. This is the hardest choice of all for a human being because we want to be in control. We are afraid not to be in control because we have trust issues as a result of our imperfect relationships with imperfect people. Yet we can have a relationship with the only One Who IS perfect and Who can help us and our lives to be perfect, but some of us CHOOSE not to do so. Why?-because do not want to admit that we are not in control and to trust our Creator Who is. That is too scary, yet ironically, it is actually the ONLY CHOICE that leads to perfect peace and to the greatest esteem and belief in ourselves that we can have. It means much more to me to know that the Creator of the Universe thinks that I am valuable than it does to know that only I or you think so. I am comforted much more to know that God is control and that God loves me and wants the best for me (see Jeremiah 29:11) and that, therefore, I can totally trust God (even if I can’t totally trust people) than it does for me to think that I am in control or that you or any other imperfect, incomplete human being is in control because I know that neither you nor I have all knowledge, and we will not always know how to make the right choice UNLESS we are in tune with the One who does have all knowledge and wisdom, our Creator, God, Who will lead our minds and intellects AND our spirits in the right way. Personally, I believe that Jesus the Christ is the only perfect example of a human being, and Jesus was not focused only on himself, his own mind, and his own success, in fact, quite the opposite. He was focused on God and on others, and is focused on me and you, and on our peace of mind, body, and spirit-on our success – and not just on our temporal earthly success, but our eternal, heavenly success-not just peace while we live on Earth, but peace now and forever, eternally, and deep, deep, deep down within ourselves. Isn’t that what we’re all REALLY seeking-in all of our lives-our jobs, our families, and in every relationship that we have? That is what life is all about anyway-relationships, and in order to be a success at anything, we need to get first things first. We need to get our first and foundational relationship with God right and then all other relationships and the rest of our lives will fall into place-mentally, physically, emotionally, and spirtitually. We will be at peace and content in ANY circumstance. We will be truly successful. A good example of this and a good final summary for my comments is the story of the couple who inspired the song “His Eye Is On The Sparrow”. I took the following information from Wikipedia. It was pointed out to me in a devotional that I read this morning right before I read your article (By the way, I believe it was God’s doing, not just an amazing coincidence, that I received both of these emails within minutes of each other first thing this morning.)

    (From Wikipedia re: the song “His Eye Is on the Sparrow”) The theme of the song is inspired by the words of Jesus in the Gospel of Matthew in the Bible, as referenced by Mrs. Doolittle in Elmira, New York: “Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?” (Matthew 6:26) and “Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows” (Matthew 10:29-31).

    Civilla Martin, who wrote the lyrics, said this about her inspiration to write the song based in the scriptures outlined above,

    Early in the spring of 1905, my husband and I were sojourning in Elmira, New York. We contracted a deep friendship for a couple by the name of Mr. and Mrs. Doolittle—true saints of God. Mrs. Doolittle had been bedridden for nigh twenty years. Her husband was an incurable cripple who had to propel himself to and from his business in a wheel chair. Despite their afflictions, they lived happy Christian lives, bringing inspiration and comfort to all who knew them. One day while we were visiting with the Doolittles, my husband commented on their bright hopefulness and asked them for the secret of it. Mrs. Doolittle’s reply was simple: “His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.” The beauty of this simple expression of boundless faith gripped the hearts and fired the imagination of Dr. Martin and me. The hymn “His Eye Is on the Sparrow” was the outcome of that experience.
    —Civilla Martin

    Harrison, Mr. and Mrs. Doolittle understood what I am trying to tell you and anyone else who reads this. The whole truth is that, despite our circumstances, we can be successful because the Creator of the Universe, God, loves us and believes in us and has great plans for our lives. That truth has more power than anything else we can think or do to make us believe in ourselves (and in God) in a miraculous way, and knowing and experiencing the Power of this truth will make us a success regardless of our circumstances. Since you had trust issues with your parents and were an attorney, I can understand why you would choose to focus on your mind and intellect and on yourself, but I hope and pray for you and anyone reading this who hasn’t already done so, that you will go beyond just your mind and intellect and limited knowledge and gain true wisdom (the right application of knowledge) from the One Who really controls your destiny and Who has all knowledge and Who has a great destiny planned for you because you are His special, unique child created in your True Father’s image and He loves you. You are not limited by your imperfect earthly father or mother; you have unlimited power available to you from your Heavenly Father by which you can be a true success and have true peace. I encourage you to discipline yourself and train your mind with God’s help using the Bible and Jesus as your guide. If you do, will find true peace and true success now and forever, no matter your circumstances. I pray that this will be the case for you and for everyone, in Jesus’ Name and to God’s glory. Amen.

  18. Dear Mr. Bernes,
    I surely read your long posted opinions,and I found it out very realistic,with about the world,about people…as to myself, i can say, I also have so much undesirable experiences, like I lost my father when I was only 6 mos. old,physically I never feel how does it feels being cared and cradled by him,but spiritually I know he care and loved me that much because he wished for me to be in this world before he died of bone cancer,my mother was not so responsible enough to take care the 3 of us, my 2 brothers and I,we end up growing with my grandparents,living with them I see so much differences with children who are living with there own parents,but I never see or feel that I am hopeless or useless,at my young age, i can say that I learned how to become responsible,I do all the chores around to avoid being scolded by the grown ups around me..i grew up poor financially,..but I tried to go to school, and being a varsity player I was able to continue my studies up to college and there I found out that I really need financial earnings to pursue my studies,..I got the good looks when I was young, and people around me was noticing it, and different offers coming, indecent and decent proposals,..but I turned around from it,..I always said to myself,..I will keep myself to the man I am going to marry,..I want him to be proud of me,..I want to be a whole person as a woman,..I cannot take opportunities that will make myself as a price in return,..that will damage me morally and spiritually,..in reality, no one ever born in this world carrying a gold at there birth,..but just like the length of each finger in our hands,everyone has different stability in our lives,..that’s why there are poor and there are rich,there were bad and there were good,…I am now 40 years old,but when I looked back I never regret that I turned around from the opportunities that had been offered to me before,..I have able to keep myself for my husband,..I married my best friend and until now we are always best friends,..our love and affection never change,..even in the face of so much trials to our marriage,..we lost our eldest son in 1996, because of brain tumor,..we were graving so much,..and as my second child grew( my daughter) she feels the emptiness of a child companion,that makes us so long to decide because of the pain that we been through in the past,..but her persistence to have another baby in our house opens the ideas to us to become happy again,..so we wish and we pray to have another baby boy,.. before my daughter turned 9 years old I get pregnant and the result of the ultra sound it’s really a baby boy,..we were happily and excitedly waiting,..but I got my early labor,at 7 mos. old of my pregnancy I got bleeding, I was confined in the hospital,..and the Doctors were too late to decide to make my cs operation,..he already lost oxygen inside my womb,..that is causing a damage of his brain,..that affects his movements,..he just turned 10 years old last June 24,2011,..but until now he cannot walk yet,.. he got a tight cord a the back of both knees,..that makes his knees having a certain degree folded and its causing him not to stand very well,.. he got less control of his movements,..that is the negative side of his condition,..but he is a gifted child,..he is good in numbers and in words,..he has the ability to learn different foreign languages,..He learn to speak and understand English well since he was only 2 years old, only by watching tv, an English base learner,he learn some Spanish words from tv also,and lately he is continuously learning to read and speak Japanese from tv and from a borrowed Japanese book,..and at his very young age,he taught us how to speak and understand English,..We are Filipino and we have our own dialect here in our place,but he speaks pure English,..all he need is training, a good teachers, a good education,a good educational materials, and most especially his medication,..I am always hopeful that one day he can have it although we are poor,..I always believed that GOD is watching us,..HE is listening to my prayers,..I always believed that my son’s gift has a reason,..and I will always remain Hopeful,Prayerful and Faithful, that one day soon the solutions will come to our way..and with all the undesirable situations that we been through, what I always thank of,..is that, we are still a family who loved and care for each other with all the Faith in GOD..

    And thank you Mr. Barnes, I have learned from what I read from you..

    Yours truly,

    Evelyn R. Diamante
    Digos City,Philippines

Filed Under : Featured, Getting Ahead, Life Lessons

Tagged: , , , , , , , ,

Job Market

You Need to Be Able to Close

By on Mar 28,2024

In this article Harrison explains why the ability to close a sale is the most important skill in selling. Many people may get consumers interested in their products and lead them to the edge of making the sale, but it is the final push where the customer makes the actual purchasing decision which is the most important. Similarly it is good to be able to secure an interview, but what actually counts is the ability to push the employer to make the final hiring decision. There are a million possible closing techniques ranging from using the power of money and the power of issuing a deadline to identifying with a particular cause that could be important to the employer. All you need to do is tap into your instinctual ability and push employers that extra bit to ensure you get the job.

continue reading

recent posts

Related Posts:

Want Powerful Career Advice?

Get my free newsletter and strategies that make people successful