mary ainsworth
Mentors, Attachment Disorders, and Your Career
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Loading...When I was 15 years old, I spent a year living with my family in Bangkok, Thailand. We lived in a small apartment tower with about twelve other families. One day, I went down to the lobby of the apartment before going to school and there was a small puppy...
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Job Market
Whenever you attend an interview, remember that you are there because your prospective employer has already made an investment in calling you in. and really wants to hire you. Most people enter interview with negative preconceptions about their employers’ opinions and their own prospects, and ultimately bring about their own failures. Bringing such thoughts into an interview projects negative vibes, and signals a lack of enthusiasm and confidence to your employer. Always keep a positive outlook when walking into an interview.
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Employers sometimes ask in the course of an interview about other interview you may have had, and how you handle this question can determine your success. You must convince your current interviewing employer that their position is your first choice before divulging any information about other interviews, and be careful how you justify your other interview to your prospective employer. You must convince your current interviewing employer that you consider their position to be your best fit, and would most help you meet your career goals of upward mobility.
Do not be a dabbler, or someone who turns away in the face of stress; the secret to long-term happiness is to instead confront and push through these stress factors. Do not be discouraged by difficulties, but find ways to persist and deal with the stress. Confronting problems head-on is the key to improvement, and will take you much further than the dabblers who fail to approach their careers with commitment.
Everyone experiences ups and downs in their lives. Every problem and struggle you go through in your life is an opportunity to improve, to become stronger and to help others (and yourself). Use the problems you experience as a vehicle to grow and become a better person.
Your life’s ultimate goal is happiness; your drive for happiness guides the course of your life, and you need to be happy regardless of the external circumstances in your life. The happier you are, the better jobs you will get and the more successful you will be in your career. In order to achieve happiness, turn away from externalities and instead focus on the happiness that is already inside of you. Your life is too important to be unhappy.
A recommendation from a powerful person can make a huge difference in your job search; a reference from an influential person makes a tremendous difference to a prospective employer, and thus can be a major advantage for you. When an important person whom the company trusts recommends you, you instantly qualify for positions that may previously have been unattainable. Make the absolute most of your connections with the powerful people in your life, because doing so can instantaneously change your career and life.
Everything you do is a form of preparation for your job interviews, as you are always under some form of scrutiny. The best employees can always spot other good employees, and you cannot “fake it”; merely doing a good job in your work is a form of interview preparation. Always put your all into your work, therefore, even if you do not have long-term plans to remain at your current employment. Switch jobs as infrequently as possible. The time to prepare for a job search is before you even realize that you need to do so.
Make a list of the bonuses that you can offer an employer if hired, whether they be contracts or additional capabilities. Your extra assets may form a tipping point in the employer’s decision whether or not to hire you. Many businesses and career failures result from people focusing on their own needs rather than the incentives that they can offer others.
In this article Harrison discusses the importance of first tending to the smaller tasks in life in order to be able to focus on the real large ones. Harrison believes that the inability to keep small details organized in your life is a reflection of your ability to master details in your work. If you cannot keep your surroundings organized, in all probability you will never be able to master your work. There is a certain level of discipline that is required to keep things neat, clean, and organized. If someone does not have this level of discipline on their desk, in their office, in their homes, then they are certainly people who will be incapable of keeping their careers and lives organized. Our surroundings are a reflection of what is going on in our minds.
Being present is crucial to your career’s success and longevity. The more that you are present in your career, the more valuable you will be to your employer, and thus the more likely you will be to keep your job. Employers want commitment and presence in their employees, and those possessing such attributes will always prevail over those who do not.
You can make the most out of any situation by using your mind creatively. Your imagination is your most important tool, and your strongest skill is your ability to imagine what you want. Imagine the person you wish to become and the career you wish to have, and stay focused on this vision. Use your imagination, and never stop dreaming about what you want to accomplish.
In this article Harrison discusses that the meaning you give to things will control the quality of your life. How we feel about ourselves is all due to what we tell ourselves certain things will mean. The meaning you give things is crucial for your career success. You need to choose meanings that make you stronger. You need to ensure you interpret things in a way that serves you and does not hurt you. You need to reach your full potential. Don’t classify yourself as someone who is not fit to succeed at the level at which you’re capable. You need to take charge of your mind to have the career and the life that you deserve.
One Saturday night when I was around 14, one of my neighbors, a 16-year-old boy who was a well-liked athlete at the local high school, went out with friends to a local party, got very drunk, and had someone give him a ride home. How drunk was he? He was so drunk he somehow walked into his neighbor’s house through the front door, instead of his own. The owner of the house awoke, and, greatly alarmed, pulled a pistol out of his nightstand, went downstairs, and shot the boy in the head, killing him instantly.
Concentrate on the process, not the results, in order to succeed in your career. Focus on the entire process of what you are doing, refine each step of that process, and make sure to constantly improve each step. Pay attention to the small, seemingly insignificant details, because they will add up to make a huge difference.
To determine the sort of career you should be pursuing, you need to determine whether you are a tangible or intangible-oriented person. Many people fail in jobs simply because those jobs did not cater to their specific skills and interests. Tangible-oriented people seek work within clear guidelines, whereas people interested in the intangible are more comfortable around new and unproven concepts. To succeed in your career, you need to understand you inner nature and choose a workplace accordingly.
In this article Harrison discusses how a very crucial part of your future success and happiness depends on your ability to be free. The concept of freedom is difficult for most people to truly understand because hardly anyone is really free, in the deepest sense of the word. Most people are trapped by their own mental barriers, by obligations to others, by financial constraints, by habits and in many cases by actual physical barriers. Moving towards true freedom is something that will forever change your life and career, and will help you reach your full potential. In order to make the most of your life and career you need to understand the limits that may infringe upon your freedoms–and then decide which ones you can do without. The more freedom we believe we have, and the more we believe we can do, the more we will achieve.
In this article, Harrison discusses the power of commitment. Your commitment and love for what you do need to defy explanation if you are going to reach your full potential, and obtain lasting success. We remember the people who put in incredible efforts, and these are the people who make an impact on the world. People like to be surrounded by other people who like and respect them. Those who generally do the best in life are the people who genuinely like and support others. Everyone likes to be around those who they believe will stand behind them and support them. Those who show commitment that defies explanation are liked, promoted, remembered and admired by everyone. The people who do the worst are those who are most interested in themselves. The people who do the best are those who are most interested in others.
You must accept responsibility for your actions and their consequences, rather than blaming others. The system is rarely responsible for your problems, and much happiness and success will come from accepting full responsibility for your current position. By doing so, you will be much more likely to make better decisions leading to greater future success.
Your success in both career and life depends on the strength of your desires. Peoples’ respective levels of desire differ greatly, and those with the greatest desire tend to achieve the most in life. If you do not desire something strongly enough, you probably will not get it. Putting the greatest possible desire behind your dreams is the best thing that you can do to ensure your success.
People who form their opinions of themselves based of how others are doing fall into a dangerous trap; do not base your own happiness on how others are faring. Compare yourself to your own past performance rather than that of others to measure your growth and happiness. The process of comparing oneself to others is addictive, and you must free yourself from such unhealthy contrasts in order to find true happiness.
Make sure that your life, dreams, and goals are your own rather than somebody else’s. Most people grow and expand in the direction that they receive encouragement. Such encouragement, however, might often be in someone else’s interest rather than your own. Question why you have received praise and approval for some things and not others, and you will ensure that your dreams and aspirations are truly yours.
The most successful people in the world share the common characteristic of sharing, or concentrating on the value that they give back to others rather than on their own growth and profit. Focusing on yourself never leads to long-term success, but leads instead to unhappiness as well as emotional and financial challenges. Your greatest consideration, therefore, should be how you can contribute to others, and how your actions can impact their lives.
Your thought process is a powerful determinant of your success or failure. Find a connection or unifying bond among the millions of thoughts that cross your mind every day, and use them to the greatest possible effect. Rather than dwell on negative thoughts that could undermine you, strengthen your mindset by asking yourself empowering questions; you will find that the answers to these questions constitute excellent career advice.
You can easily make your vision of yourself more real when you start to do the things the person you want to be would do. Your life is defined by your beliefs and convictions about who you are. You can always change your behavior, but never your perception of who you are. The first step to making a meaningful change is to become aware of your unconscious beliefs about who you are and change them. You need to be able to believe and think positively about yourself and your capabilities and not be held back by negativity. Negative beliefs about yourself will harm you.
The most successful people in the world have found new ways of expressing themselves professionally. To be continually successful, it is vital for you to reinvent yourself and find new, fresh approaches to the world. Settling into a single way of doing things is dangerous as it makes you predicable, and therefore easier to replicate and ultimately replace.
Many people fall prey to the false attractiveness of the ego, allowing it to dominate their lives and hinder their progress. To conquer your ego you must establish a sense of what is and is not correct, and introduce discipline to your business and personal lives. This means your work will result from true effort rather than cutting corners, and you will be respected for the ethics that govern your actions.
