avoidant-insecure attachment
Mentors, Attachment Disorders, and Your Career
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Loading...When I was 15 years old, I spent a year living with my family in Bangkok, Thailand. We lived in a small apartment tower with about twelve other families. One day, I went down to the lobby of the apartment before going to school and there was a small puppy...
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Career Advice
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Too many people approach their job searches from the perspective of their own needs. They need a job, they need to make more money, they need flexible working hours and benefits. This is not the way to get a job. In fact, this “me-too” method of job seeking is unlikely to get you anywhere.
In this article Harrison discusses the importance of using association websites in your job search. One of the best places to track down jobs which (1) few people know about and (2) you stand good odds of getting an interview if you apply, is association websites. Associations are not experts in advertising themselves, and so the jobs on their websites are far less likely to be found by people looking for jobs online. The people you are competing with in the job market generally are not researching association websites for job opportunities and leads. Employers typically like posting jobs on association sites because applicants from association sites tend to be serious about their profession. If you are in the job market, using association sites for research is highly recommended.
Your résumé is an extremely important document. There are entire books written about how to craft them. I have written at least one myself. There are scores of résumé consultants, companies, and others that will work on your résumé for a fee. Hiring one of these services can be useful and can improve your résumé. Nevertheless, most résumés can improve dramatically by following the below advice.
Job Market
Whenever you attend an interview, remember that you are there because your prospective employer has already made an investment in calling you in. and really wants to hire you. Most people enter interview with negative preconceptions about their employers’ opinions and their own prospects, and ultimately bring about their own failures. Bringing such thoughts into an interview projects negative vibes, and signals a lack of enthusiasm and confidence to your employer. Always keep a positive outlook when walking into an interview.
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The answers to these seven questions are essentially the same as your response to “Tell me about yourself.” You need to see yourself and your answer to every question from the employer’s point of view. Interviewers are looking for the best long-term fit for each job. Anything you say that supports this is likely to get you hired and anything that does not is likely to mean you will still be looking for a job.
Recognize a pervasive, universal spirit or oneness, and harmonize with it in order to leave a lasting mark on the world. Many people may be intelligent or popular, yet fail to leave their mark because they lack this sense of oneness. People with a developed sense of universality can touch others in a unique way, and change the world in a way that others cannot. Tap into this sense of universality to unlock your true power and potential.
You can never become too comfortable if you wish to be successful. Your success will largely depend on your ability to become dissatisfied with your current position. Successful people are never satisfied with the status quo, and constantly push beyond their comfort zone. When do you this and succeed, you set a new standard for normality in your life. Be continually dissatisfied, and always pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone.
Creating a sense of urgency is one of the most important things you can do in your job search. Understand that your career is itself a commodity and you need to sell yourself, and your salesmanship will determine your career success. Creating a sense of urgency will always help you close your sale.
The influence of relationships can inhibit business growth and lead to disaster. At the same time, however, relationships constitute your greatest assets in your career. All aspects of your job search and your career depend on the relationships you cultivate, so you must strive to form the best relationships possible. You must engender affinity and genuine connections with those around you to achieve success.
Your mood is a major determinant of success in anything you do. You should never enter an interview or any other high-stakes situation in a negative frame of mind. You can needlessly lose many opportunities simply because you haven’t been “up”. For example, job seekers find considerably greater success when interviewing on Fridays, perhaps due to the fact that people tend to be in a better mood towards the end of the week. When people are relaxed, they are in a better “buying mood”.
Only take on more responsibility when you are ready for it. While it is fine to try new things, you must have a clear understanding of the challenges ahead of you; otherwise, you are likely to get into trouble when you step outside of your comfort zone. Do not get ahead of yourself and take on work of which you are not capable in your drive for success, or you risk sabotaging all of the hard work you have already invested.
You need to focus on yourself and raise above the standards set by the world around you. When you live your live according to others’ expectations, you blind yourself to your genuine wants and capabilities. Stop worrying about the world and your slot in it; do what you want, the way you want, and you will be much closer to achieving greater heights in your life and career.
People tend to follow the norms for their chosen profession; your own success depends on your ability to step outside of these norms and create your own rules. You must take charge of your life in order to reach your full potential. Be unique, and stay constantly aware of what other opportunities exist. You need to make your own decisions and gain the experience that comes with success or failure.
It is important to have a career that makes you happy, rather than pursuing a career simply because you or others think that you should. Life too short not to be doing the things that you really want to do with your life. If you do not yet know the kind of work that makes you genuinely happy, you need to go and find it.
Opportunities present themselves to you everyday, although you may not always see them. Recognize these opportunities, and take advantage of as many of them as possible rather than letting them pass you by. You cannot afford to let individual opportunities slip through your fingers. Visualize the potential opportunities in each meeting, and try never to let one slip by.
It is very important that you always ask questions in an interview when given the opportunity. Here are some good questions to ask and why you should ask them.
Someone who wants to succeed in finding a job must understand marketing. Regardless of what you do, your job search is a marketing operation. The more effectively you market yourself, the more jobs you will get, the better jobs you will get, and the more successful you will be. The people who market themselves most effectively are the ones who do the best in their careers.
Rumors are extremely dangerous. Competitors and colleagues alike share incorrect, negative information about you, these rumors can spread like wildfire and quickly shipwreck your career. Make sure that your peers know and understand you, show courtesy and respect for others, and avoid all types of arrogance; if you can do these things, you can mitigate the likelihood and potential damage of rumors.
In this article Harrison reveals some secrets of success. According to Harrison most people who become super successful commonly have utilized ‘motivating force’ and ‘routine’. They have a strong sense of love, lack, rejection or anger and they incorporate routine and discipline into their career and life strategy. People who are not successful generally do not have that same motivating force and/or discipline to achieve their goals. In order for people to become extremely successful, people generally need both. However, having an internal motivating force is so powerful that you too can succeed with it alone. In order to reach your full potential, it is important that you understand these success factors. How you use motivating emotions is something that is going to determine how well you do in your career and in your life. Nothing is more important than using these motivating emotions in a positive and empowering way.
The character of your goals will determine your accomplishments, your impact on the world, and the quality of your life. The world respects people whose goals are of good character, and having such goals will motivate you to great achievement. Goals predicated on harming others will never take you very far, and people with such goals never retain their positions for long.
Assessing your employers’ needs will lead you to success in both your job search and your career, so work to ascertain exactly what it is they are looking for. Once you know what your employer wants, do precisely what is expected of you and you will succeed. Determine exactly what your employer is seeking by asking lots of questions in the interview. Those who take the time to understand their employers’ needs are those who wind up with the best jobs.
The most successful people in the world create so much value for others that everyone wants to do business with them, and return to them over and over. Driving sharp bargains, however, typically backfires and can cause you more problems than benefits. Whenever you get a good deal you should consider yourself lucky, but you should never push for the best deal possible because your behavior will likely alienate others.
When you try to mask or suppress aspects of your personality, those traits will inevitably come to the fore anyway. You need to develop a comprehensive understanding of yourself, including your darker or deeply buried traits; once you know how your dark side limits and controls you, the better you will do in your life and career. Self-discovery will ultimately lead to inner peace, which in turn will enable you to more fully develop your goals.
There is no such thing as true security in either work or life. Companies must subject themselves to change and chaos in order to survive and grow, and you must do so also. Peoples’ natural desire for predictability and for things to proceed in a certain way leads to many missed opportunities. You must not short-change yourself by constantly seeking order; expose yourself to change and chaos in order to force yourself to grow.
Nothing is more destructive than not pursuing your dreams, and in order to do this you must step outside of your comfort zone. The way you use your mind shapes your entire existence; focusing on positive things and your goals, therefore, does much to make those things a reality. Similarly, focusing on negative things can actually invite those elements into your life and hinder your success. The power to live your dreams is easily within grasp if you can harness your mind’s incredible power.
There is a tremendous amount of negativity, harm and hurt in the world. These forces are all around us and conspiring to bring us down and reduce us to less than we are capable of being. In order to reach our potential and be the people we are capable of becoming, we need to do everything we can to be positive in the face of overwhelming negativity. This will save us, make us strong and give us the lives we are entitled to and deserve.
There are many people and organizations who, for a variety of reasons, seem never to succeed no matter what they do and experience perpetual bad luck. Do not waste time analyzing the causes of ill luck; simply avoid people and businesses who seem to have it, and instead associate yourself with those inclined to growth and development to achieve your goals.
Looking back at the past, one can always identify the mistakes that he or she did not know any better than to make at the time. You cannot get the “whole picture” of you life at any given time because you are currently living it; conversely, you can look at others and see things that will determine their future. You must use this outside perspective to your benefit, and frequently ask those around you about how they envision your life unfolding. Your allies will tell you the truth about yourself, good or bad, if you let them.
You are a commodity, and your security and success depends on creating much more value to your employer than you receive. Expect a certain amount because you are worth it, not because it is what you want. By putting in a tremendous effort and generating value, you become indispensable and can justify higher pay.
In this article Harrison discusses the importance of ‘energy’ over technical skills. When people are hiring you they are purchasing your “energy” more than they are purchasing your technical skills. They are interested in your ability to influence the world around you through your energy. When you are marketing yourself and seeking a job, or working in a job, there are essentially two things you are marketing. You are marketing your technical skills, but more importantly you are marketing an intangible sort of energy. The most successful people have mastered the art of projecting positive energy. The better your energy, the more employable you will be and the farther you will go.
Get your employer to commit to you, and keep coming back again and again. This “lock in” is a tactic that companies use all the time, and one that you must practice to get and keep jobs. Make an offer to attract an employer, and then make yourself indispensable. People who fail to lock in their employers are usually the ones who find themselves laid off.
The most important lessons often come from extraordinary or bizarre circumstances. Seemingly unimportant lessons can be underscored and lent significance by the situations in which they occur, as a means of signifying to you their importance. Pay attention to unusual circumstances and situations, and try to see whether there is a lesson to be learned.
Your environment ultimately shapes who you are, so you need to seek out environments that will help shape you into the person you wish to be. People choose their jobs based on all sorts of factors, but often overlook the environment itself. The environment and people that surround you every day, however, ultimately determine your happiness and shape your future.
In this article Harrison discusses the importance of having open lines of communication. According to him this will consistently keep you employed. You need to be friends with everyone you meet in business and stop competing and seeing differences. You need to understand that you have no opponents. Your success will largely be determined by your ability to go into the world, find commonality and make friends with the people around you. You must abolish from your mind the idea that the people you are dealing with in your career and in business are your competition. You must get rid of the thought of competition. Be friendly with everyone you meet. Stop looking for differences, and do everything within your power to find affinity with other people. This will change your career permanently.
