There is always a third party of some kind at the root of the conflicts in your life. Conflicts with others are an inevitable part of your life and career. When you analyze the conflicts in your life, you will often find that they are unjustified and created by others rather than by your own internal issues. When you identify a conflict in your life, determine whether the source is internal or external to you; once you identify the source, you will be able to quickly resolve these conflicts and remove impediments to your own career.
We all create problems about something in our lives, and respond to these problems differently; these problems are life’s way of sending us messages and challenges. We can make these problems work either for us or against us. Develop a sense of clarity about the true nature of whatever problems you are facing. When you remove the charge from problems and view them in the present rather than the past, you will find that the solution lies within each problem and you save your time and energy in dealing with them.
Employers sometimes ask in the course of an interview about other interview you may have had, and how you handle this question can determine your success. You must convince your current interviewing employer that their position is your first choice before divulging any information about other interviews, and be careful how you justify your other interview to your prospective employer. You must convince your current interviewing employer that you consider their position to be your best fit, and would most help you meet your career goals of upward mobility.
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In the job market or any other venue, getting others to sing your praises will make a huge difference to you as far as getting ahead. The best way to brag about your work is to get someone else to do it for you. When applying for a job, getting someone inside the company to speak well of you will vastly increase your odds of success, making your application much more effective than it would otherwise have been.
When I was an attorney, I stopped going out to lunch with other attorneys during the day. The reason was not that I was not hungry. Instead, I stopped going out to lunch because just about everyone I worked with would want to dedicate the lunch to a critique—whether it was critiquing our bosses, coworkers, or others. When these people were not being critiqued, the job itself was being critiqued. When the job was not being critiqued, the attorney’s home life was being critiqued.
People who form their opinions of themselves based of how others are doing fall into a dangerous trap; do not base your own happiness on how others are faring. Compare yourself to your own past performance rather than that of others to measure your growth and happiness. The process of comparing oneself to others is addictive, and you must free yourself from such unhealthy contrasts in order to find true happiness.
People naturally want others to be interested in them, and offering this interest is one of the most beneficial things you can do. The more that you display interest in others, the more that they will in turn display interest in you and want to help you. When in interviews, build rapport with your potential employer by demonstrating a genuine interest in the person and his or her organization; everyone loves to have other people interested in them, and like to hire such people.
Use your past, rather than some unattainable ideal, as the yardstick for measuring progress in your life and career. The most successful people are also often the most unhappy, because they measure themselves against impossible ideals, which causes a constant sense of inferiority. There will always be someone better than you, and there are ideals all around you against which it would be unrealistic and stupid to measure yourself. Instead, compare yourself only to the person you were before; measure yourself against your own progress, and forget about others.
In this article Harrison explains how you can ensure success in your career by externalizing your opponents. Your job is like a game; if you work hard, play by the rules of the company and are seen as part of the team you will be viewed as a valuable player for the company. The most significant part of any game is the presence of an opponent. Don’t look for an opponent among your co-workers. Never speak negatively of your team members. Instead, concentrate on the external opponents. External opponents bring you and the team closer as you work towards a common goal. In order for you and your company to succeed it is important to have an external opponent. Harrison advises people to consistently work hard and not participate in the politics. This is a sure way to score big in your career.
True self-esteem comes from within, not from the acceptance of others. When your sense of worth comes from within, you free yourself from comparisons with others and will enjoy a greater sense of internal security. You will no longer be bogged down by the experiences of others and can become much more self-reliant.
Your greatest successes will come from some of the smallest actions in terms of meeting people. You will cause a “stacking effect” the more you meet and connect with people; conversely, people cannot connect with you when you are withdrawn and nothing will happen. You must do everything in your power to connect with as many people as possible.
A powerful sense of self will make all the difference in your life. You must understand that your sense of yourself and your capabilities come from inside of you, not from the external forces that have brought you to your current place in life. What you feel internally might be completely different from what the world is telling you, and you must learn to focus on the former rather than the latter.
Adopting a positive attitude will always bring you closer to success, as nobody wants to be associated with a losing side. Everyone wants to associate with and hire winners, and avoids losers. Nothing is more important than maintaining a positive attitude, as many employers hire people based primarily on attitude; with the right attitude, everything else will fall into place. You must look like you are on the winning team, even if times are tough; nobody wants to hire a loser.
Everyone tries to maintain a certain emotional state, and learning to control your own emotions will have a profound impact on your career. While everyone allows their emotional states to be influenced by outside events, there is no advantage in basing your own emotions on things that you cannot control. Allow yourself to discover happiness and fulfillment naturally, rather than making your emotions dependant on external circumstances. Your outlook will have a tremendous impact on your psychological health, as well as that of those around you.
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