I have seen the damage toxic behaviors cause. People with these behaviors have difficulties remaining in relationships, holding onto friends and acquaintances, keeping jobs and even getting jobs.
Address your weaknesses, and offset them complementary strengths when they become an issue. You want to be trusted and your weaknesses to be overlooked. When interviewing, you must bring up and address your weaknesses to your employers before bringing up your strengths. Employers are more likely to pay attention to your strengths if they have already been made aware of your weaknesses, and you in turn will have more credibility. You must always be sure to follow up a discussion of your weaknesses with complementary strengths.
Information is the most important thing you can possess; the more you share information with your colleagues, the more they in turn will share information with you. Never try to protect information, but share it freely lest others move away from you in favor of others more giving with their information. When you withhold information from others, you inhibit your own growth; the more you share, the more others will reciprocate.
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People owe their success to concentrating their energies and taking prompt action; they understand the importance of maintaining a positive attitude. People notice and gravitate towards those with a positive approach to their work, just as they notice – and do not respect - indifference and half-hearted work. A positive attitude, therefore, is your greatest asset.
One Saturday night when I was around 14, one of my neighbors, a 16-year-old boy who was a well-liked athlete at the local high school, went out with friends to a local party, got very drunk, and had someone give him a ride home. How drunk was he? He was so drunk he somehow walked into his neighbor’s house through the front door, instead of his own. The owner of the house awoke, and, greatly alarmed, pulled a pistol out of his nightstand, went downstairs, and shot the boy in the head, killing him instantly.
It is important to establish rules for yourself that empower rather than frustrate you; creating rules about your goals prevents you from finding fulfillment in your current situation. Rules create the impression that your life is imperfect, and you will never find happiness in your life and career. Instead, make sure you have rules that motivate you to move forward rather than hold you back.
When I was an attorney, I stopped going out to lunch with other attorneys during the day. The reason was not that I was not hungry. Instead, I stopped going out to lunch because just about everyone I worked with would want to dedicate the lunch to a critique—whether it was critiquing our bosses, coworkers, or others. When these people were not being critiqued, the job itself was being critiqued. When the job was not being critiqued, the attorney’s home life was being critiqued.
In this article Harrison explains how you can ensure success in your career by externalizing your opponents. Your job is like a game; if you work hard, play by the rules of the company and are seen as part of the team you will be viewed as a valuable player for the company. The most significant part of any game is the presence of an opponent. Don’t look for an opponent among your co-workers. Never speak negatively of your team members. Instead, concentrate on the external opponents. External opponents bring you and the team closer as you work towards a common goal. In order for you and your company to succeed it is important to have an external opponent. Harrison advises people to consistently work hard and not participate in the politics. This is a sure way to score big in your career.
True self-esteem comes from within, not from the acceptance of others. When your sense of worth comes from within, you free yourself from comparisons with others and will enjoy a greater sense of internal security. You will no longer be bogged down by the experiences of others and can become much more self-reliant.
Your greatest successes will come from some of the smallest actions in terms of meeting people. You will cause a “stacking effect” the more you meet and connect with people; conversely, people cannot connect with you when you are withdrawn and nothing will happen. You must do everything in your power to connect with as many people as possible.
A powerful sense of self will make all the difference in your life. You must understand that your sense of yourself and your capabilities come from inside of you, not from the external forces that have brought you to your current place in life. What you feel internally might be completely different from what the world is telling you, and you must learn to focus on the former rather than the latter.
Adopting a positive attitude will always bring you closer to success, as nobody wants to be associated with a losing side. Everyone wants to associate with and hire winners, and avoids losers. Nothing is more important than maintaining a positive attitude, as many employers hire people based primarily on attitude; with the right attitude, everything else will fall into place. You must look like you are on the winning team, even if times are tough; nobody wants to hire a loser.
Everyone tries to maintain a certain emotional state, and learning to control your own emotions will have a profound impact on your career. While everyone allows their emotional states to be influenced by outside events, there is no advantage in basing your own emotions on things that you cannot control. Allow yourself to discover happiness and fulfillment naturally, rather than making your emotions dependant on external circumstances. Your outlook will have a tremendous impact on your psychological health, as well as that of those around you.
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