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Mentors, Attachment Disorders, and Your Career

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While your relationship with your parents shapes the future course of your life, you do not have control over the events of your childhood. Find a mentor, someone to listen to and guide you going forward will give you confidence going forward and enhance your chances of success. A good mentor will give you the psychological grounding and confidence to achieve anything.

Experience a Breakthrough by Confronting Your Pain

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Most of us carry many personal problems around with us in life; by not confronting them, however, we only make ourselves even more miserable. Problems build up as you ignore them, growing until they ultimately control your life; everything changes when you come to face your problems and take back control over your affairs. The sooner you confront your pain and work through it, the faster your will experience a breakthrough and transform your life.

Focus, Instead of Going Unconscious

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Do not be affected by stress; instead, adopt a coping mechanism to either divert or dissipate stressful energy. The threat of stress and the desire to avoid it prevents many people from reaching their full potential in many areas of their lives. Rather than succumb to stress or the fear of stress, position yourself for success by doing the things that others are unwilling to do.

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Groups and Their Norms Determine the Outcome of Our Lives

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One of the most important aspects of the people around you is their definition of the “norm”; norms of acceptable behavior exist everywhere. Your own definitions of normal and acceptable will determine your success in life, as will those of the groups with whom you interact. Develop an understanding of the norms for the many groups in your life.

Putting Yourself Out There and Your Heart, Body and Soul

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You must desire success in whatever you are doing, and make sure that desire matches who you are and want to be. Put your heart into what you are doing, and be behind it 100%. When you go out into the world you will inevitably face rejection; having your heart in soul invested in your chosen career will help you overcome this rejection and keep pushing forward towards success.

You Need to Be Seen as an Authority

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In this article Harrison discusses the role of authority in your job. In order to get a job, stay employed and succeed in the world, you need to demonstrate authority. You need to portray strength and confidence to your employer and potential employers. Many people have very little self confidence and are constantly asking others questions and seeking the approval and authority of other people. We use authority to govern our relationship and interaction with the world. The more presumed authority you have to offer your employer, the bigger difference it will make. Authority has a giant impact on your success and what ends up happening to you in your career and job. You need to always cultivate authority.

Moses, Great Religious Figures, the Wilderness, and Your Career

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If you are unhappy in your current job, you need to step back and take a break in order to determine your true calling. Separate yourself from the world’s influence to make a truly meaningful difference. Discover what energizes you and your spirit, and identify the best use of your natural gifts and abilities. Whether or not you believe in religion, you can learn much from the lessons of great religious figures, as they went through the same changes that you yourself must undertake.

Instead of Seeking Praise, Seek Criticism

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In this article Harrison discusses the role of criticism in helping a person grow, evolve, and excel. People generally want to avoid criticism. Many people will do everything within their power to find the “right” people who will say positive things about them and give them approval. But this does not help. You need to make sure that when you ask people around you for constructive criticism, you are doing it so that you can make changes and improve your skills, methods, and understanding of your job. Most people fail to learn from criticism and therefore cannot adapt in response to it. You need to make sure you incorporate criticism into what you do to ensure that you become a better person.

Eliot Spitzer’s Lessons: Finding Strength in Your Dark Side

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When you try to mask or suppress aspects of your personality, those traits will inevitably come to the fore anyway. You need to develop a comprehensive understanding of yourself, including your darker or deeply buried traits; once you know how your dark side limits and controls you, the better you will do in your life and career. Self-discovery will ultimately lead to inner peace, which in turn will enable you to more fully develop your goals.

We Create Problems So That We Can Grow and Be Happy

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In this article Harrison discusses how your problems can help you move forward. Most of us are never satisfied with what we have and we are continually seeking more and more of what we do not have. Harrison points out that problems in life are in a way special gifts which force us to move ahead. They are a much-needed drug. They seek to challenge us and keep us on our toes. Embrace your problems. Problems create energy and energy creates change. You feel the best when you were working through some challenge, with a solid goal in mind. Problems are the fuel of our life.

The Sun Does Not Always Shine Forever

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Since the sun does not always shine forever, you must take a pragmatic approach towards your life and career; remember that good fortunes are never permanent. Do not take your job for granted, but instead watch the market and be aware of other potential jobs. Rather than guard against change, be prepared for it.

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Keeping a Job

Your Job Is a Game-Make Your Opponents External

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In this article Harrison explains how you can ensure success in your career by externalizing your opponents. Your job is like a game; if you work hard, play by the rules of the company and are seen as part of the team you will be viewed as a valuable player for the company. The most significant part of any game is the presence of an opponent. Don’t look for an opponent among your co-workers. Never speak negatively of your team members. Instead, concentrate on the external opponents. External opponents bring you and the team closer as you work towards a common goal. In order for you and your company to succeed it is important to have an external opponent. Harrison advises people to consistently work hard and not participate in the politics. This is a sure way to score big in your career.

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Staying Positive

Self-Esteem and Lunch Room Tables

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True self-esteem comes from within, not from the acceptance of others. When your sense of worth comes from within, you free yourself from comparisons with others and will enjoy a greater sense of internal security. You will no longer be bogged down by the experiences of others and can become much more self-reliant.

Take Small Actions and Meet Others

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Your greatest successes will come from some of the smallest actions in terms of meeting people. You will cause a “stacking effect” the more you meet and connect with people; conversely, people cannot connect with you when you are withdrawn and nothing will happen. You must do everything in your power to connect with as many people as possible.

The Importance of Your Sense of Self

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A powerful sense of self will make all the difference in your life. You must understand that your sense of yourself and your capabilities come from inside of you, not from the external forces that have brought you to your current place in life. What you feel internally might be completely different from what the world is telling you, and you must learn to focus on the former rather than the latter.

Sick Crows, Your Attitude, and Being on the Winning Team

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Adopting a positive attitude will always bring you closer to success, as nobody wants to be associated with a losing side. Everyone wants to associate with and hire winners, and avoids losers. Nothing is more important than maintaining a positive attitude, as many employers hire people based primarily on attitude; with the right attitude, everything else will fall into place. You must look like you are on the winning team, even if times are tough; nobody wants to hire a loser.

Emotions and Our Careers

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Everyone tries to maintain a certain emotional state, and learning to control your own emotions will have a profound impact on your career. While everyone allows their emotional states to be influenced by outside events, there is no advantage in basing your own emotions on things that you cannot control. Allow yourself to discover happiness and fulfillment naturally, rather than making your emotions dependant on external circumstances. Your outlook will have a tremendous impact on your psychological health, as well as that of those around you.

About us

Harrison Barnes is an entrepreneur, thought leader in the legal placement space, legal recruiter and the #1 legal career company leader in the United States.

Latest Articles

Eliot Spitzer’s Lessons: Finding Strength in Your Dark Side

Getting Ahead 4
When you try to mask or suppress aspects of your personality, those traits will inevitably come to the fore anyway. You need to develop a comprehensive understanding of yourself, including your darker or deeply buried traits; once you know how your dark side limits and controls you, the better you will do in your life and career. Self-discovery will ultimately lead to inner peace, which in turn will enable you to more fully develop your goals.

Self-Esteem and Lunch Room Tables

Getting Ahead 1
True self-esteem comes from within, not from the acceptance of others. When your sense of worth comes from within, you free yourself from comparisons with others and will enjoy a greater sense of internal security. You will no longer be bogged down by the experiences of others and can become much more self-reliant.

How to Put Yourself in a Monopoly Position in Any Industry

Getting Ahead 0
The number one thing that makes people fail and not reach their potential is competition. If get into an area where there is not much competition and you genuinely have something to offer, you will succeed. Everyone is successful to the extent they are doing something others around them are not that provides value.

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Never Measure Yourself against Perfection

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Use your past, rather than some unattainable ideal, as the yardstick for measuring progress in your life and career. The most successful people are also often the most unhappy, because they measure themselves against impossible ideals, which causes a constant sense of inferiority. There will always be someone better than you, and there are ideals all around you against which it would be unrealistic and stupid to measure yourself. Instead, compare yourself only to the person you were before; measure yourself against your own progress, and forget about others.

Concentrate on Your Contribution

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In this article, Harrison explains the secret behind successful people and the biggest difference between them and those who fail to grow. Most people fail to succeed because they constantly evaluate the rewards they get rather than direct their efforts towards solid constructive work. Successful people on the other hand, are always focused on their work, concentrated on their contributions, and dedicated towards generating value. Unlike others, they do not think about the rewards and are highly passionate about the work they are doing. This characteristic Harrison believes, is what leads to a person’s growth and success.

Sympathy, Morale, and the Importance of Being Organized

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Sympathy destroys morale, and those who can walk away from sympathy often have better careers and make better use of their skills. Good organization is the most effective means of upholding high morale and productivity. Well-organized groups and companies are much harder for people to undermine, and their strength is directly linked to their organization.

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