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5 Toxic Behaviors That Push People Away: The Best Way to Recognize These Behaviors and Change Them

Keeping a Job harrisonbarnes -
I have seen the damage toxic behaviors cause. People with these behaviors have difficulties remaining in relationships, holding onto friends and acquaintances, keeping jobs and even getting jobs.

Do Not Blame the System or Others: Accept Responsibility

Life Lessons harrisonbarnes -
You must accept responsibility for your actions and their consequences, rather than blaming others. The system is rarely responsible for your problems, and much happiness and success will come from accepting full responsibility for your current position. By doing so, you will be much more likely to make better decisions leading to greater future success.

Project Management

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In this book, Olaf Passenheim, reveals that the 'Know-how' and the 'Do-how’ can transform project managers into excellent project...

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Get Dissatisfied

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In order to make substantive changes in your life, you must start with dissatisfaction in your current position, and leverage that tension to your advantage. Tension and dissatisfaction will push you forward, as they are the drivers of most of our everyday actions. By constantly creating pressure in your life, you motivate yourself to make necessary changes and bring yourself closer to your goals. Implement dissatisfaction in a way that empowers you to go in the direction you want.

Helpers and Non-Helpers

Getting Ahead 3
There are two types of people in the world; helpers and non helpers. The more of a helper you are, the more you will succeed and find happiness in life. When you find yourself jealous, angry, and judging others, redirect your focus and concentrate on thinking positive, compassionate thoughts about those around you. See and regard others in the same positive light in which you yourself would like to be regarded. Caring about others offers the hidden reward of making you care more about yourself.

The Benefits of Failure

Finding a Job 0
Most people are afraid of exposing themselves to failure, and therefore settle for less than what they want or are capable of achieving. Failure to take action due to your fear is itself the biggest failure of all; few people ever reach any degree of success without consistent failure. You must use failure as an inspiration to try harder in the future, and manage your emotions so as not to fear failure and let that fear preclude action.

Instead of Seeking Praise, Seek Criticism

How to Succeed 2
In this article Harrison discusses the role of criticism in helping a person grow, evolve, and excel. People generally want to avoid criticism. Many people will do everything within their power to find the “right” people who will say positive things about them and give them approval. But this does not help. You need to make sure that when you ask people around you for constructive criticism, you are doing it so that you can make changes and improve your skills, methods, and understanding of your job. Most people fail to learn from criticism and therefore cannot adapt in response to it. You need to make sure you incorporate criticism into what you do to ensure that you become a better person.

Smash Through Whatever Ceiling You Are Seeing by Concentrating on Your Largest Reward

Life Lessons 17
In this article, Harrison explains the importance of smashing that glass ceiling which you have created in your minds - the ceiling which almost always pulls you down. To feel that others are more successful because they are lucky or because you don’t have as much potential is a big myth. You need to push through this myth and set your own worth and terms for your life, and believe that you are capable of a lot more than what you think. On doing this, your relationships, your way of seeing the world, and everything else around you changes. The glass ceiling exists only in your mind and you need to simply mould it to think greater of you. Realize the potential in you, smash the ceiling, and go ahead with a successful life.

The Pygmalion Effect and Setting Incredible Expectations for Your Career and Life

Getting Ahead 10
You will come across both people who believe in you and those who do not in your life; it is vital that you surround yourself with those who believe in you and what you can achieve. The beliefs of others dictate what ends up happening to you, so it is equally important to avoid those who do not believe in you. Define yourself in terms of the person you want to be, and start acting like that person.

Choose Your Frames of Reference Wisely

Finding a Job 34
Your life is shaped by the reference points through which you experience the world, which you establish based on your own past experiences. You must learn to take these experiences, and frame them in a way that makes you stronger. Your experiences create the filters through which you see the world, so you must avoid letting negative past experiences hurt you in the present. Instead, focus on references that empower you and interpret the world for your benefit.

You Need to Pay the Cost

How to Succeed 1
In this article Harrison discusses that you need to pay the cost if you want to have the life and career you are capable of. There are a lot of people who are not willing to pay the price for the things they want in their lives. People are unwilling to pay the price to advance in their careers. They want a shortcut. They try to make a quick buck instead of providing long-term value. You need to be willing to pay the price to do well at anything. Most successful people pay all the prices to get ahead. You have to give your job everything you have, you have to create value, and then you will be rewarded accordingly. Everything costs us something.

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Keeping a Job

Your Job Is a Game-Make Your Opponents External

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In this article Harrison explains how you can ensure success in your career by externalizing your opponents. Your job is like a game; if you work hard, play by the rules of the company and are seen as part of the team you will be viewed as a valuable player for the company. The most significant part of any game is the presence of an opponent. Don’t look for an opponent among your co-workers. Never speak negatively of your team members. Instead, concentrate on the external opponents. External opponents bring you and the team closer as you work towards a common goal. In order for you and your company to succeed it is important to have an external opponent. Harrison advises people to consistently work hard and not participate in the politics. This is a sure way to score big in your career.

Getting Ahead

How to Succeed

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Staying Positive

Self-Esteem and Lunch Room Tables

Getting Ahead 1
True self-esteem comes from within, not from the acceptance of others. When your sense of worth comes from within, you free yourself from comparisons with others and will enjoy a greater sense of internal security. You will no longer be bogged down by the experiences of others and can become much more self-reliant.

Take Small Actions and Meet Others

Staying Positive 1
Your greatest successes will come from some of the smallest actions in terms of meeting people. You will cause a “stacking effect” the more you meet and connect with people; conversely, people cannot connect with you when you are withdrawn and nothing will happen. You must do everything in your power to connect with as many people as possible.

The Importance of Your Sense of Self

Getting Ahead 22
A powerful sense of self will make all the difference in your life. You must understand that your sense of yourself and your capabilities come from inside of you, not from the external forces that have brought you to your current place in life. What you feel internally might be completely different from what the world is telling you, and you must learn to focus on the former rather than the latter.

Sick Crows, Your Attitude, and Being on the Winning Team

Staying Positive 7
Adopting a positive attitude will always bring you closer to success, as nobody wants to be associated with a losing side. Everyone wants to associate with and hire winners, and avoids losers. Nothing is more important than maintaining a positive attitude, as many employers hire people based primarily on attitude; with the right attitude, everything else will fall into place. You must look like you are on the winning team, even if times are tough; nobody wants to hire a loser.

Emotions and Our Careers

Getting Ahead 2
Everyone tries to maintain a certain emotional state, and learning to control your own emotions will have a profound impact on your career. While everyone allows their emotional states to be influenced by outside events, there is no advantage in basing your own emotions on things that you cannot control. Allow yourself to discover happiness and fulfillment naturally, rather than making your emotions dependant on external circumstances. Your outlook will have a tremendous impact on your psychological health, as well as that of those around you.

About us

Harrison Barnes is an entrepreneur, thought leader in the legal placement space, legal recruiter and the #1 legal career company leader in the United States.

Latest Articles

Eliot Spitzer’s Lessons: Finding Strength in Your Dark Side

Getting Ahead 4
When you try to mask or suppress aspects of your personality, those traits will inevitably come to the fore anyway. You need to develop a comprehensive understanding of yourself, including your darker or deeply buried traits; once you know how your dark side limits and controls you, the better you will do in your life and career. Self-discovery will ultimately lead to inner peace, which in turn will enable you to more fully develop your goals.

Self-Esteem and Lunch Room Tables

Getting Ahead 1
True self-esteem comes from within, not from the acceptance of others. When your sense of worth comes from within, you free yourself from comparisons with others and will enjoy a greater sense of internal security. You will no longer be bogged down by the experiences of others and can become much more self-reliant.

How to Put Yourself in a Monopoly Position in Any Industry

Getting Ahead 0
The number one thing that makes people fail and not reach their potential is competition. If get into an area where there is not much competition and you genuinely have something to offer, you will succeed. Everyone is successful to the extent they are doing something others around them are not that provides value.

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Never Measure Yourself against Perfection

Life Lessons 47
Use your past, rather than some unattainable ideal, as the yardstick for measuring progress in your life and career. The most successful people are also often the most unhappy, because they measure themselves against impossible ideals, which causes a constant sense of inferiority. There will always be someone better than you, and there are ideals all around you against which it would be unrealistic and stupid to measure yourself. Instead, compare yourself only to the person you were before; measure yourself against your own progress, and forget about others.

Concentrate on Your Contribution

Employment Do’s and Don’ts 41
In this article, Harrison explains the secret behind successful people and the biggest difference between them and those who fail to grow. Most people fail to succeed because they constantly evaluate the rewards they get rather than direct their efforts towards solid constructive work. Successful people on the other hand, are always focused on their work, concentrated on their contributions, and dedicated towards generating value. Unlike others, they do not think about the rewards and are highly passionate about the work they are doing. This characteristic Harrison believes, is what leads to a person’s growth and success.

Sympathy, Morale, and the Importance of Being Organized

How to Succeed 39
Sympathy destroys morale, and those who can walk away from sympathy often have better careers and make better use of their skills. Good organization is the most effective means of upholding high morale and productivity. Well-organized groups and companies are much harder for people to undermine, and their strength is directly linked to their organization.

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